


the thought of losing you.

by fluffyaot



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, 進撃の巨人 | Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan (Movies)
Genre: 104th Training Corps - Freeform, Angst, Child Eren Yeager, Childhood Trauma, Comfort, Cute Eren Yeager, Developing Relationship, Dominant Eren Yeager, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eren Yeager In Love, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Eren Yeager, Love Confessions, My First Smut, Older Eren Yeager, Sad, Trauma, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, if youre a homophobe go away <3, im scared to write smut, maybe smut, slight annie x reader, this is not just about eren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:41:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29306685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffyaot/pseuds/fluffyaot
Summary: joining the 104th training corps, with your older brother, Jean Kirstein. you meet Eren Jaeger, in the words of your brother, another "suicidal blockhead"
Relationships: Eren Yeager & Reader, Eren Yeager/Reader
Comments: 17
Kudos: 50





	1. inside trost district

**Author's Note:**

> hii !! pls keep in mind that im a pretty inexperienced writer, and im writing this for fun.  
> i dont exactly know where im gonna go with this story, but i will probably continue it to the best of my ability onto season 4 :)  
> my writing of the characters is purely based on how i see them, if you have any opinions on how i write the different characters, and how to improve them, please let me know! if you have any constructive criticism at all, go ahead and comment !!  
> i hope you enjoy and tysm for reading <3

“Jean, are you ok?”

“*Sniff* im- im okay”

You sit down next to your older brother by the river running through your hometown, Trost. He's obviously been roughed up by some bullies. Unfortunately nothing out of the ordinary, you knew he wasn't okay, of course he wasn't, he was crying, you only really asked in hopes of comforting him to the best of your ability.

“Lets go back home, im sure mom is worried:” You said in a soft comforting voice while patting Jeans shoulder.

“Y- yeah.” 

Just as Jean had replied you looked up at a noise slowly coming closer and closer.  
You looked towards the end of the river by the wall, the bars that were usually blocking Trost off from Wall Maria were slowly rising and a ferry boat filled with people came in.

“What's going on?” Jean asked while looking at the ferry with the same curious expression as you.

“I dont know”

Another ferry followed soon after and as the first one came closer to you both you noticed that the people looked troubled. Some were crying, some looked confused and lost.  
You saw that some of them had blood on them.

“These don't look like the scouts, and they don't usually come through Trost on a boat” You said eyes still glued on the boat the closest to you and the people onboard.  
That's when your eyes met a pair of big green ones, teal? Turquoise?  
Your eyes widened when the eyes turned from looking at some of the houses in your hometown. They were filled with shock, anger and sadness. 

You quickly looked away a bit frightened as you wondered what these people must've gone through.

You stood up.

“Jean, let's get home before these people get off the boats” You said and offered a helping hand out to your brother. He took it and with your help lifted himself of the ground.

\----------

“We're home!” you yelled out as you entered your home.

“Oh my, are you alright?” your mom asked and hurried over to you.

“Jean got picked on again”

Jean's eyes were starting to tear up again as he was reminded of the bullies.

Your mom hugged the both of you.

You brought your hand to Jeans back and rubbed it in another attempt to comfort him.

“Now Jean-boy, what happened?” Your mother asked Jean and turned her face to him.

“*Sniff* they… they- *sniff” Jean tried to respond as you took off your shoes and went inside.

You went to the kitchen to have a look at whether or not your mom had prepared food.  
She had. You sat down at the table knowing they would be joining you very soon.

\----------

After dinner you got ready for bed, putting on your pajamas and getting under the covers covering your small bed next to Jeans, a bedside table separating them.

The image of the ferry and the people on it was stuck in your mind even after your mom had tucked Jean and you in and he was fast asleep.

At dinner you had learned that the people were refugees from Shiganshina, the wall had been breached by a huge titan and titans overrun the city, not to mention that another titan had destroyed the gate. Jean was just as surprised and horrified as you as your mother told you the events of that day.

The possibility of the same thing happening to your hometown kept you up for a while, until you finally fell asleep.

\----------

The food shortage was becoming worse everyday and it caused your brother to slim down quite a lot as he wasn't able to enjoy his favorite food, omelets as often anymore.  
The government sent out 250.000 people on the mission of retaking Wall Maria, however not even 200 survived, while it did solve the food shortage, the thought of it made your stomach turn as once again your mother had explained what was going on, as much as she hated telling you and your brother, only 10 and 11 years old, she knew it was her responsibility to tell you the truth about everything happening, for your own sake really.

“I want to join the Survey Corps.”

Jeans eyes widened at your words and your mother froze, the fork at her mouth dropped down to the table again as she lowered her hand.

“What?” Jean asked, his voice a little louder than yours.

“I want to join the Survey Corps, to go outside the walls. I'm sure there's more to this world than just life inside the walls” You said somewhat in a cheerful voice, of course you knew that beyond the walls danger is around every corner. You were trying your best to not make a big deal out of it, because to you it wasn't really, you just desperately wanted to get out.  
You didn't exactly know why you felt this way, but you did.

“Do you have a death wish or something?”  
“No, Jean, I just want to seek freedom for humanity and see the world outside the walls, there must be more than what we know of.” 

“Honey, you know many people never make it back inside the walls after going out, is it really worth risking your life for that?” Your mother asked as calmly as she could despite being terrified at the thought of losing you before you even before you had become an adult.

“I think so”

“You're crazy” Jean scoffed.

“Sure” you replied shrugging.

You knew Jean was scared for you, he simply expressed it in the most annoying and obnoxious way possible. He told you he wanted to join the Military Police and live a safe and secure life in the interior, quite the contrast to your dreams. You didn't judge him for it though, you saw no reason to, it was the safest choice after all. He unfortunately didn't have the same attitude for your dreams.

\----------

Once you were ready to join the Cadet Corps you were 12 and your brother 13.  
You had grown a little, you were pretty tall for your age, almost as tall as your brother.

“I cant believe youre going” Your mother said to the both of you, dressed in your uniforms you had gotten after getting accepted into the 104th Training Corps.

“I'll miss you, mom.” You gave your mom a loving hug.

As you pulled away she looked towards Jean.

“Take good care of her, okay?” 

“Sure, sure, goodbye mom.” Jean replied and gave your mother a quick hug.

\----------

“What do they call you, maggot?” Shadis yelled at a blond haired boy you were standing behind.

“Armin Arlert from Shiganshina, Sir!” He replied.

Everyone's widened eyes went to the boy, some people even gasped.

“Wow, seriously? Why would your parents curse you with such a dumb name?” ‘

“It was my grandfather, Sir!”

“Cadet Arlert, why is a rut like you here?” 

“To help humanity overcome the titans!”  
Shadis went on to call him a snack for the titans and you were starting to shut his voice out, you were close to getting a headache from his yelling.

Why on earth does he need to talk so loudly? 

He went on to harass more members but went past some people.  
One of which was a boy with big, green eyes, no turquoise, teal?  
Suddenly you found yourself remembering that you had asked yourself that exact question a while ago, you didn't know when though, had you seen the boy before?

He's skipping some people, have they already gone through this “rite of passage” or can Shadis tell that they didn't need it? Maybe they were residents of Wall Maria who knew the horror of the titans.

Shadis suddenly stood in front of your brother.

“This is gonna be fun” you thought. 

“What do we have here?” Shadis leaned in closer to Jean and looked as scary as ever.

“Jean Kirstein from Trost District, sir” He replied as he saluted.

“Why are you here, cadet?”

Jean's eyes widened before replying, “To join the Military Police, sir, the best of the best” 

The boy with the green eyes looked at him with a displeased look on his face.

“Thats nice, you wanna live in the interior, do ya?” Shadis asked.

Jean smiled and replied “Yes.”

Shadis immediately headbutted your brother and he fell to the ground.

You giggled a bit at the scene and noticed some people looking at you, they must think you're evil or something but really you just found the scene of your brother on the ground in front of Shadis funny.

God hes screwed.

“No one told you to sit, recruit! If you can't handle this Kirstein, forget about joining the military police!” Shadis yelled and walked away. 

He walked closer to you and was now standing right infront of you.

Oh shit.  
“What is your name. Cadet?”

“Y/N Kirstein, sir, from Trost District.”

“Oh so youre related to that coward over there?”

“Unfortunately i am, sir” 

Many people giggled a bit while either looking at you or your brother.

“And why are you here?”

“To join the survey corps, and fight for the freedom of humanity, sir”

“Train hard enough and you won't be titan fodder”

“I intend to, sir!”

He walked away and you sighed.

You looked over to the boy with the green eye, he was already looking at you, you widened your eyes a little bit and looked away quickly.

Shadis was now lifting a rather short boy with short hair of the ground by his head.

Everything went completely silent as you could hear someone eating something. 

Complete silence.

*chomp*

Everyone's eyes went to the girl with auburn hair holding a potato in her hand, still chewing.  
Shadis dropped the boy from his hands.

“Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing?”

The girl looked around her, completely oblivious of the fact that he was referring to her.

*chomp*

Your jaw dropped, eyes glued to the girl.

Shadis rushed over to her.

“YOU ARE OFFICIALLY ON MY SHIT LIST! JUST WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?”

She quickly swallowed and saluted, potato in hand. 

“Sasha Braus from Tauper Village, at your service, reporting for duty, sir!”

“Sasha Braus, huh? And what is that you're clenching in your hand?”

“A steamed potato, it sat there in the mess hall begging to be eaten, sir!”

“The theft I understand, but why? Why eat it here of all places?”

“It was getting cold and it looked quite delicious sir, so i wanted to give it shelter in my stomach, sir!”

“What i can't comprehend is why, why would you eat that potato?”

“Are you asking me why people eat potatoes? I'm surprised you don't know sir.”

Everyone's eyes widened.

And once again, complete silence fell over the open area.

The girl ripped a small piece of the potato and handed it to the man.

“Here, sir, have half”

“Half, really?”

She smiled and the next thing you knew she was running laps around the training grounds.


	2. the trio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> as you settle in to your new surroundings you befriend a certain trio and some girls from your dormitory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 2 timeee  
> this chapter is literally just getting to meet some characters and become friends with them <3  
> hope you dont mind it, i really want to add some depth to the story by actually interacting with others besides the main trio of mikasa, armin and the love interest in this story, eren.  
> hope you enjoy <3

Sitting down at the same table as your brother to eat your first dinner in the mess hall, you notice after having eaten almost all your food a bit too quickly, that a large group of people had gathered around a table near yours. You looked up at your brother's unamused face resting in his hand, he was looking at the table and listening to the hundreds of questions the poor cadets at the table were being questioned.

“Like I said I saw everything” you heard a boy reply.

You suddenly remembered that day the ferries came into Trost and your eyes met those green ones on the boat.  
Could it have been the same boy that was now being questioned in the mess hall? 

“God they just won't leave him alone” You said quietly at your brother.

“Mhmm” He simply replied.

“Big enough to stick its head over the wall” you heard him once again.

“Jean, what was his name again?” You asked your brother.

“I think it was Eren Jaeger, why are you so interested in him?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I'm not, I just wanted his name, jesus.” you replied and slightly rolled your eyes.

“What does it look like?” A girl asked.

“Mostly skinless and it has a huge mouth.” Eren replied

That sounds disgusting.

“Then what does a normal titan look like?” 

Eren froze.  
He dropped his spoon and covered his mouth with his hand.  
And the hall went silent.

“Guys, let's stop questioning him, I'm sure there are things he'd rather not recall” A boy said looking around at the large group of people.

Finally someone stopped it.

“Sorry for that-” 

“That's not it,” Eren interrupted and took a bite of his bread.

“Titans really aren't that big of a deal” He said.

What? I could only imagine titans being horrifying..

“Once we master the use of the three-dimensional maneuver device, they won't stand a chance! I can finally train as a soldier, my emotions just got the better of me earlier. I will enlist in the survey corps and exterminate the titans from this world. I will slaughter them.” He said somewhat confidently.

You looked over at your brother, who looked a bit amused now,

You raised an eyebrow at his expression.

“Whoa there. You crazy?” Your brother asked.

You widened your eyes.

Oh no..

Eren looked over at your brother.

“Did you say you're going to enlist in the Survey Corps?”

“Yeah, that's right. If i'm not mistaken you're aiming to live it up in the Military Police Brigade, right?” Eren replied.

“I'm an honest guy, you see. Id say im a lot more pleasant to be around than someone who puts on a brave face, despite being terrified deep down inside” 

“Jean, stop” You said quickly and quietly.

He chose to ignore you.

Eren was now standing up, “Are you implying something?” He asked looking down at Jean. 

“Quit it, guys” You said.

Eren's eyes quickly met yours before they shot up at Jean again.

You were ignored again.

“Hey now.” Jean stood up and walked towards Eren who was walking towards Jean. 

“I wasn't really”

They stood in front of each other.

Then the bell rang.

Good timing.

They were still standing there.

“Whatever, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to dismiss your opinion” Jean said with a hint of sarcasm.

“Lets call it even with this” Jean held out his hand.

“Yeah, i crossed the line too.” Eren replied, reaching out his hand and clapped Jeans, he turned around and walked away right after.

Jean still stood there watching Eren walk away with a smirk on his face as a girl with black hair walked past him, following Eren.

Jeans eyes widened.

“Excuse me” He said. 

The girl turned around. 

You could tell Jean was blushing even though you couldn't even see his face but only the back of his head.

“Um, well I've never seen anybody like you before, is all” He said nervously.

You couldn't help but giggle. 

“Sorry… your black hair looks beautiful.”

“Thank you.” She replied and walked outside immediately.

God, I've never seen him this flustered before. 

He followed after her.

You didn't bother to go outside after him.

Getting up from your table you walked over to the sinks and placed down your plate.  
You reached out to grab some water in a cup from a bucket standing next to the sink, you started cleaning your silverware and plate.  
A boy walked up behind you, waiting for you to be done, once you were, you moved to the side and started drying the wet silverware. You signaled for him to go ahead with your hand… the boy didn't move. 

You turned your head and saw a rather tall, blonde, muscular dude looking off to an even taller guy with black hair and a short girl with blonde hair, you glanced at them quickly before looking at the boy behind you once more.

“Excuse me, you can wash off your stuff now, I'm done” you said.

He flinched a little and looked at you.

“Oh, thanks!”  
“No problem” you said, drying the last of your stuff off.

“I'm Reiner” the blonde next to you said.

You looked at him before replying.  
“I`m y/n.” You replied and smiled at him.

“Nice to meet you, y/n!” 

“Likewise”

He gave you a rather big smile, it was nice though, this dude really seemed like a good guy.

“See you tomorrow.” you said and smiled back at him before turning your heel to head out into the mess hall and then outside to your dormitory.

You opened the door and were greeted with a bunch of girls, you recognized one of them sitting on a bottom bunk and fidgeting with a ring. She was the girl with the blonde hair that Reiner was looking at, maybe they were friends, you thought.

“Hi, nice to meet you, im Krista Lenz.” a sweet voice greeted you and you turned your eyes from the blonde on the bed to another blonde standing next to you.

She was very pretty, and she gave you an almost heavenly smile, wow.

“Oh hi, i'm Y/N Kirstein.”

“Yeah I think your brother made quite the impression at the so-called “rite of passage”.” 

“Ohh, yeah.” you giggled remembering the sight of him being headbutted and falling to the ground.

“I can only imagine what image you were giggling at.” A taller girl with brown hair in a low ponytail and freckles approached you and Krista.

“You caught me.” you replied.

“Im Ymir”

“Nice to meet you both.”

They both nodded and Krista smiled that goddess-like smile once again.

You turned your heads towards the bunk beds and noticed a pair of grey eyes, quite frankly staring at you from one of the top beds.  
A little scared you continued your search for beds and noticed a top one that looked as if it hadn't been claimed. 

“Oh yeah, there's only two beds left, one for you and Sasha.” Krista said.

You turned to meet her blue eyes again.

“You mean potato girl?”

“Yeah, she told me she wanted a lower one so she made me promise i would save one for her, i hope you don't mind!”

“Not at all, thanks”

The bed was the one above the blonde girl fidgeting with her ring.

You walked closer to the bunk bed and she looked up at you with icy blue eyes.  
You felt a little intimidated as it reminded you of the other girl with the grey eyes, both of which had a somewhat scary look to them, but they probably weren't as cold as their eyes hinted towards, you hoped.

“Hi, I'm Y/N” you said a little shyly.

She nodded before responding “Annie.”

You got ready for bed, placing your belongings in a dresser you shared with three other girls, each of you had your own drawer, it wasn't much space, but then again you didn't have many belongings with you.

You crawled up to the top bunk, Annie appeared to already be sleeping, she didn't look that peaceful tho. You wondered for a second about why that was, of course you gave up quickly, you didn't know her, of course you couldn't figure that out. Soon you drifted off to sleep.

\----------

Waking up to the sound of rummaging, you slowly opened your eyes and sat up, rubbing them and yawning. You looked down and saw Annie putting on her boots, how early was it?  
No one else was awake.

“Hey, where are you going?” you asked her looking down with half lidded eyes.

She flinched a bit but didn't bother to turn around to look up at you.

“Outside to warm up” She answered as she stood up and pulled her shoulder length hair up into the same style bun as yesterday. 

“Can i join you?”

“Uhm… if you want” she replied, still not looking at you.

You got down from your bed and landed next to her.

“I`ll get dressed, you can go on ahead”

“Yeah” she replied as she quickly looked at you before heading outside.

You got dressed and 7 minutes later you had combed your hair and washed your face with cold water in the bathroom in an attempt to wake your body.

You went outside and saw her throw some punches and kicks at some dummies a little further away, you walked towards her. She wasn't sweating despite not even take small pauses to catch her breath, she must've trained really hard before getting here.

“Hey” you waved at her.

She stopped kicking the dummy and looked towards you.

“Hi” she replied.

“I think we're practicing sparring today” you said. 

“Oh, i thought we were testing out the odm gear”

“Ohh, oh yeah of course that's what we're doing first”

“Are you good at sparring or combat?” 

“I practiced a little bit with my brother, Jean back home, not enough to develop any technique unfortunately”

“I could teach you some of my moves and some basic things”

“Oh that would be great!”

She smiled a little and you were honestly a little shocked by it, but it made you smile a bit as well.

You trained with Annie until some more people started to come out from the dormitories, and shortly after the bell rang, signaling breakfast. You went to the mess hall with Annie and sat down with her as you ate your boring food. 

“Mind if we join you?” a deep voice said from behind you.

Annie looked up behind you and you turned your head to meet eyes with Reiner, the boy next to him was the tall black haired boy he was looking at yesterday, talking to Annie.

“Go ahead” Annie answered and started eating again.

Reiner sat down beside Annie and the tall boy sat down next to you.

“Y/N, this is Bertolt,” Reiner said, referring to the boy next to you.

“N- nice to meet you” Bertolt said shyly as you looked to your side to meet his kind eyes.

“Nice to meet you, Bertolt!” you replied with a smile, he seemed like he needed one.

His eyes lit up a bit before they returned down to his food to continue eating breakfast.

You enjoyed this trios company, sure it wasn't perfect and Annie and Bertolt were a little quiet but you felt comfortable around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tysm for reading.  
> once again feel free to give me feedback! its greatly appreciated :))


	3. cheeks red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> training has finally begun as you were tested on your aptitude.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally some eren interaction :))

You were lifted up into the air as you were completely steady.

“Well done, Cadet”

“Thank you, sir!”

You were lowered against the ground.

As soon as you got unbuckled you walked over to Reiner, he was watching you walk over to him as the next person got lifted up in the air.

“Well done, Cadet!” Reiner mimicked Shadis and you nudged his arm with your elbow

“Ouch”

“Really, Reiner-”

“What are you doing, Eren Jaeger?! Raise your upper body!”

Your eyes snapped towards the boy, Eren swaying in the air upside down, he looked around at the people surrounding him, some were giggling, some looked concerned, some mad.

Then his eyes met yours.

Your eyebrows slightly knitted together and your head tilting a little to the side, your eyes looked concerned.

You gave him a soft smile and he gave an awkward toothy smile back, his eyes still completely wide from the shock of the situation he found himself in.

“How am i supposed to- what is this- no way” he thought to himself.

“Poor Eren” Reiner said next to you.

You nodded. 

\----------

You sat down at a table with Marco, Jean, Sasha and Connie.

“MHmmm im so hungry” Sasha muffled by the food stuffing her mouth.

“Oi, Sasha slow down and drink some water for gods sake!” Connie said trying to convince her to slow down.

The door to the mess hall creaked open and in came Armin, Mikasa and Eren.  
His head was bandaged and you could only assume he had hit his head while training outside trying to balance the maneuvering gear. They sat down at a table, Eren was staring into what seemed like space. He looked completely helpless.  
You heard people murmur about how Eren had claimed that the weak should give up or something. You just ignored the voices and tried to enjoy your usual awful dinner.

You looked over your shoulder to the table and Mikasa seemed to be talking about something Eren wasn't pleased with.

Soon, the bell rang and you stood up with everyone else, gathering plates and cups. 

When you had brought it to the kitchen you went outside with everyone else.  
Even Eren was in the large group, with Armin, but without Mikasa. 

And where the hell did Sasha go?

You walked towards your dormitory with Annie by your side.

“You're a quick learner, Y/N” 

You looked at Annie a little surprised at her small smile once again.

“Oh thank you, Annie. It was really nice of you to teach me.” 

“It's nothing” 

“Hey! Y/N wait up” a voice behind you yelled out.

You turned your head and saw Eren running towards you, you quickly said goodnight to Annie, knowing she was gonna go to sleep right away. You started walking towards Eren, he was still jogging until he came to a stop.

“Uhm.. hi?” you said with confusion in your voice.

“Uh- sorry for interrupting you” He said nervously.

“No, no it's fine. It's just that this is the first time we've talked, and it sounded like you wanted something from me-”

Eren's eyes widened at your words, guilt rising in his stomach.

“Sorry, that came out wrong!” you quickly said

“No.. no it's okay, i apologize for suddenly running up to you like this when we haven't really talked before”

“It's fine, really, dont worry about it”

“Ok, well i just wanted to know if you had any advice on how to balance yourself in the air..”

You were thinking of a way of replying to his question.  
“Uhm, I'd say try focusing on your core? Like the center of your body and letting the rest balance itself out?.. Sorry i don't really know how to explain it”

A slight blush appeared on his face.

Why is he blushing? You thought.

Eren felt his face get warmer and he noticed you knitting your eyebrows together and tilting your head, looking at him the same way you did when he was facing you upside down.

“Well, thank you Y/N… goodnight!” He quickly blurted out and turned around heading towards the boys dormitories.

“Goodnight!” You replied unsure whether or not he could hear you.

You went inside the dormitory and you got ready for bed.  
Your body was tired and even the thought of having to spar tomorrow made your body heavy as you slowed crawled up onto the top bunk, getting underneath the somewhat warm covers and closing your eyes, you fell asleep immediately.

\-----------

The next day came around and everyone stood outside looking at Eren.  
He was getting lifted into the air once again, you stood beside Reiner, Bertolt and besides him stood Armin and Mikasa. Everyone's eyes fixated on Eren.  
He was steady for a moment.  
Then he was upside down again.

He looked completely panicked and you couldn't help but once again feel bad for him.  
He was lowered to the ground and sat there.

“I- i..” He muttered.

“Wagner, switch belts with Jaeger” Shadis commanded.

When he was once again lifted into the air this time with new gear, he stayed there.

“The metal fixtures on your belt were damaged” Shadis explained.

And the five of you that stood the closest to Eren all sighed out in relief.

Eren looked at Mikasa with a proud, toothy grin on his face. He then turned to look at you and he smiled a more genuine smile, his eyes almost closing from his cheeks squishing them.

Mikasa glared at you.

\----------

Y/N! you're with Jean!” Shadis yelled at you as you turned your gaze to your brother.

His eyes were open wide.

You walked over to him.

“Ready to spar, Jean-boy?” You asked with a grin.

“Don't call me that.” He replied and turned away to grab a wooden knife from one of the crates on the ground. He approached you again with a more confident face than before.

This was going to be fun.

“Ok perhaps i`ll go easy on you Y/N, you are my little baby sister after all.”

He was getting back at you for calling him Jean-boy.

“Dont.” you simply replied

You waited for everyone to spread out on the grounds with their partners. You stood ready in a fighting position Annie had taught you, while of course you didn't even come close to mastering her technique from the one morning you had trained together, you learned quite a bit. Mostly how to use the strength of the other person to bring them down, and that was exactly what you planned to do.

Jean charged towards you and you quickly dug underneath him and kicked your leg to the side, hitting his calf and bringing him to the ground in an instant, you used the quick moment he was stunned to grab the knife out of his weak hand and brought it to his throat as your other arm and legs pinned him to the ground.

You had no clue that practically everyone was looking at the two of you, until you looked up and tried to search for Annie's face, instead you were immediately met by the green eyes of Eren Jaeger, his cheeks turning red again, the same way they had the night before. The sudden eye contact with him stunned you for a moment and Jean took this opportunity to flip you over and pin you to the ground, trying to mimic the way you had done the same thing just moments ago.

“Did you really just get distracted by Jaeger?” 

You narrowed your eyes at him and he got off you and offered a hand to help you up.

You refused to take his hand, and stood up by yourself, brushing off some of the dirt and dust on your uniform.

He chuckled.

Next thing he knew he was on the ground, again. Only this time in more pain.  
You had kneed him in the armpit in an instant.

“What the hell was that?” He groaned.

You once again had the knife in your hand, he hadn't noticed you had taken it from his hand.

This time you chuckled and he rolled his eyes.

You reached out your hand to help him up, but he did the same as you had earlier and got up by himself.

You continued sparring for a while. Everyone had stopped looking at you and were finally taking it seriously, at least some were, you looked over to Sasha and Connie, they were really just posing and goofing around, you saw Shadis walk towards them, they didn't notice, and you wanted to yell at them too take it seriously but before you knew it Connie was once again being lifted off the ground by his head. You cringed at the view, that really looked like it hurt.

As you turned back to look at Jean again you saw Annie and Eren standing across each other, you blinked and as you opened your eyes again, Eren was already on the floor.  
His legs bent over him and his head facing you. His eyes met yours. His eyes widened and you giggled, looking back at your brother and began training again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tysm for reading!  
> feedback and kudos are greatly appreciated <3


	4. the exercise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii, im back with another chapter! i really hope you enjoy.  
> this exercise will be split into two chapters <3

“This exercise is a simple one!” Keith yelled to the recruits, standing in front of a big map.  
“You may think this will be a walk in the park, even for maggots like you. Well you're wrong! Whether in battle or in peacetime, a soldier is always a soldier. Do not surrender to boredom. This exercise is a battle in itself! Do not forget that!” 

“Sir!” the recruits yelled.

Your squad consisted of Jean, Krista, Connie, Sasha, Mina, Eren, Marco leading the squad and Armin being the scribe, tasked with recording every event.  
The second squad was led by Thomas, with Mikasa as their scribe. 

After exchanging information at our destination, we were to return to the training camp via the other groups route. 

The point of the exercise was… to see how alert we could remain in peacetime.

\----------

Hours had passed of horseback riding on the wasteland. It was exhausting to say the least.

“Well it's better to not gallop all the way, right?” Marco asked Armin concerned.

“Uh- uh i guess” he replied shyly.

“You'll look like a real idiot if you rush on ahead and your horse gives out. Lets just take it nice and slow” your brother added.

You were honestly too tired to engage in any conversation as of right now. 

“Well, i don't know how to hold back. Jean, if you're gonna go at a snail's pace i'm going on ahead.” Eren said turning to your brother beside you, he looked at you for a second, your eyes were looking off into the wasteland, they were only half way open, and you didn't seem to be paying much attention to the conversation. 

Eren slowly sped up.

Now they were talking about how it was a group mission... god you just wanted some food.

I wonder if this is what Sasha feels like all the time, you thought. 

You returned from your daze to hear Eren and Jean bickering at each other, again.

“Stop being such a baby!" Eren said.

“What so now we are not allowed to moan?”

“It'd be fine if moaning made the time go faster.” Connie added.

“You said it” Sasha said.

“The road ahead is long, stop bickering with Eren and focus on the mission, Jean.” You said annoyed while turning your head to Jean.

“What a pain in the ass” he mumbled.

We picked up the paze a little bit and continued that way for a while.

You were honestly grateful Jean hadnt had a real argument with Eren, yet.

\----------

“Tch, we even got a lizard as a running buddy now.” Jean said while looking at the creature running next to the group.

“They're really tasty” Sasha added.

You cringed at the thought of eating one.

“Huh?” Krista asked.

“I think I will pass.” You said.

“They really are! We used to eat them all the time back home, they taste a bit like chicken.”

Jean asked if she knew how to cook them, she said yes, and then he was off after the creature. 

“If they're gonna send us on a glorified scavenger hunt, then lizard hunting tops it anyday.” Jean said looking back at the group.

“Hey, stop!” Krista yelled.

“I swear to god Jean” You rolled your eyes.

“I'll go after him” Eren said from beside you and he was off as well. 

You had fallen a bit behind when you needed a second to take a deep breath, your brother was really being a moron right now, and you swore it could almost give you a headache.

“Just put down that Jean Kirstein was obstructed by Eren Jaeger while he was hunting for food” was the first thing you heard when you were once again caught up with the group.

You automatically sighed from your brother's words. 

“What did you say?!” Eren raised his voice.

“THEY'RE VERY TASTY!” 

Silence flew over the group as everyone's eyes went to Sasha.

“Lets go,” Marco sighed.

“We could have fed the whole group with a lizard that size.” Sasha said with a tone of sadness.

“Sasha, dont worry about it, lets just go, the faster we are the sooner we get to eat and sleep.” You tried to reassure her that she wasn't dying, despite her childish behavior indicating she was.

\----------

“These rations are so bland” Jean says, interrupting the silence that had fallen upon the group gathered around two small fires lighting up a small area of the forest.

“We should've caught that lizard” Sasha replies with a sigh

“Forget about that now. Lizards are dumb” Jean replies.

“You were the one who went off chasing it.” Eren coldly ads

Jean pauses for a moment, you could tell he was thinking of a kind of comeback.

And you were correct.

“It's more sensible than chasing titans.” Jean replies.

You look up from eating the ration in your hand and your eyes are met with your brothers cold narrowed ones staring into yours.

“And what's that supposed to mean?!” Eren angrily stands up behind Jean whos still sitting facing forwards to the opposite fire Eren was facing.

“Why did you join the Training Corps?!” Eren raises his voice.

As much as you admired Erens passion and willpower, he was a handful, you had exchanged a few conversations with each other before this exercise, yet, he almost seemed calmer when you were talking with him, you had a feeling that it would take more for him to get mad at you, compared to your brother who seemed to irritate him by just his presence.

“I'll tell you this much, I didn't sign up to throw my life away.” Jean says while standing up and turning to face Eren.

“What did you just say?!” 

You noticed Armin pull out the paper and was about to write the scene before him down when Marco convinced him that this was only light dinner conversation.

“Heh. Did seeing the titans in person turn you into a try- hard for these stupid training exercises, or are you trying to impress someone?” Jean says with an almost evil looking smirk.

Your eyes widen at his words, what the hell did he mean by that? Was Eren trying to look tough in front of Krista or something? you thought.

“Shut the fuck up!!” He yelled, grabbing Jean by his collar.

“Stop it!” Krista yelled out, standing up.

“I swear you guys will be the death of us” you stated and ate the last of your rations.

They just kept on yelling at each other.

“I know what you're trying to do, Jaeger!!”

“SHUT UP”

“Let's go hunt for Lizards! That will help lighten the mood!” Sasha tried to convince everyone.

Marco also stood in trying to stop them.

You rolled your eyes and got your sleeping bag ready, simply tuning out the yelling.

And soon it quieted down and you all went to sleep.

It didn't take long for you to fall asleep though your feet were a little bit cold.

\----------

Your eyes shut open and you instantly sat up in your sleeping bag.

You had woken up from a girl screaming, seemingly coming from inside the woods

You looked up from your lap to see a large rifle pointed at your head.

You quickly looked around you and noticed you were surrounded by big men, wearing sacks over their heads.

“Don't you dare move!” The man lowered his gun even closer to your head.

“Gather up all the 3D maneuver gear.” A deep voice said.

Everyone was completely silent.

“What are you gonna do with them?” Eren asked.

“Gonna sell em to our contacts, it's not as if you're gonna rid the word of titans.”

You heard a `tch` from Eren's mouth, and as you turned your head to him he was already standing up, grabbing the rifle.

“Now, guys, now!” He yelled out.

“Eren!” You yelled eyes wide.

He looked to you, eyes full of anger, but they somewhat softened at the sight of you.

You tried to stand up but you were immediately kicked in the leg, causing you to fall right back down.

“Y/N!” Eren yelled out.

“How dare you!!!” Jean yelled running towards you.

A shot was fired after him and it grazed his cheek.

Eren was tossed harshly to the ground.

You tried to get up as quickly as your legs would allow you.

Before you knew it you felt a sharp pain spreading throughout your skull and you could only hear ringing. And then blackness covered your eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tysm for reading !!  
> feel free to leave any feedback in the comments. kudos are greatly appreciated :)

**Author's Note:**

> this was mostly just backstory, but i felt it was nice to add some :)  
> next chapter we getting closer with a lot of people, especially reiner, bertolt and annie. just cus i have a soft spot for them, and it will add some good old angst *smirk*  
> hope you enjoyed this chapter <3


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